Daisies

My parents and I visited a garden by a river yesterday. The weather was almost summery, and the house was at the top of a really steep slope, covered with lush green new grass. I rolled down the long slope to the river three times, despite getting a rash all over my arms and chest. I love letting go completely and seeing the world spinning crazily, the bright blue sky coming round again and again.

The lawn had a lot of daisies in it, and they smelled lovely. I think they are my favourite flowers. Daisies always smell like summer to me. I think it's because daisies are so universal that I used to just think that the smell in the air was summertime.

PTT

I awoke this morning to a satisfyingly throaty grumble of thunder. Excited, I got up and looked out of the window, but nothing much seemed to be happening. We had a bit of rain, but disappointingly little.

Whenever a storm is in the air, I get cranky and tense in a very similar way to PMT. I have done a little research online, and have found plenty of sites suggesting that the concentration of negative ions in the atmosphere increases before a thunderstorm, which are dissipated by lightning to leave an over-concentration of positive ions. However, I do not trust any of these sites, nor have I found any satisfying physical explanation for the mechanism by which the over-concentration of negative ions builds up before the storm, or the timescale on which this might be expected to occur. I should ask Tim.

Anyway, the promised thunderstorm has failed to materialise, and so I am still in a grumpy state, rather than the anticipated post-storm elation.

Benevolent thoughts

My bath felt wonderful. It was as though I shed my cynicism along with my clothes, washed away the grit of bitterness and was reborn as someone soft and gentle. The armour I wear against the harshness of everyday life dropped away, and I felt pure. The fuzzy round diffraction patterns of the candles against the velvety blue-black of the night outside reminded me of Christmas carols, and I felt good will to all men. I could truly understand that every single person in the world has as many thoughts and feelings fizzing through their minds as me, and that every one of us is in danger of falling victim to the bad thoughts unless we have food, water, warmth, shelter, safety, happiness, and people who love us. I felt heavy and grounded in the deliciously warm water and piles of bubbles, and I wanted to wrap my arms around the people in need and take care of them. I promise myself I will carry at least a little of this feeling with me.